Friday, November 14, 2008


So I have a raging case of vertigo, of all stupid fucking things. I've been having little twinges of dizziness and ear pain for about a month but this week it kicked into high gear and has gotten worse since Monday. Today I feel like some invisable asshole is slowly turning me upside down and I'm spending a good portion of every hour trying not to hurl the pomegranate tootsie pop I ate earlier. I'd joke around and say it's probably a gawd damn tumor but I've had a real gawd damn tumor so it's not that funny.

I happened to have a doctor's appointment yesterday for some other stuff and told her I was spinning right round baby right round and she kept asking me what kind of dizziness. Um, the kind that makes you feel dizzy? Yes, but what kind of dizziness? Is the room spinning or do you feel faint. Well, neither, I said. It sort of feels like a head rush. Then she asked me again, what kind of dizziness. Gah!

Then after she slammed me onto the exam table a couple of times and made me touch my finger to my nose then to her finger (I passed that little sobriety test with flying colors) she determined that she really didn't know what was causing it - maybe an inner ear virus or allergies - and it'll go away. When? I don't know but it should be fun to get on an airplane next week and see if the pressure makes my head explode at 30 thousand feet!

I'm going to leave work early and go get some sea sickness pills, a vat of chocolate and a gallon of Propel. I've never experience motion sickness and always thought those that did were being wussies. I owe you all an apology. So, from the bottom of my dizzy, nauseous heart, I'm sorry. I'm not going to hold your hair while you're puking over the side of a boat or anything but I won't make fun of you any more. Much.

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