Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Havin' my back

Scene: sitting on the couch watching TV out of the corner of my eye I see a figure in white swirling about the front yard seeming to repeatedly bump into a trashcan.

Me: Oh, fuck. I think we have zombies now. Have we not been through enough in the last fucking week?
Him: No problem. I know how to handle that.
Me: Are you sure?
Him: Oh yea.
Me: Really sure?
Him: ~with breezy confidence~ Totally.
Me: What do you do?
Him: It’s simple.
Me: Oh yea?
Him: Yep. You just remove the brain.
Me: ~whining~ OMG. I have to cut off heads now? I don’t want to have to cut off heads.
Him: That's what you gotta do.
Me: Can they get into the house? Like smash through windows and shit?
Him: Yea, but they move really slowly. Don’t worry. I’m on it.

Reason 1 million and ninety three why I love this man.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


The house is fine. We're a bit frazzled but the house made it unscathed! Whew!

What an ordeal. I'll write about it later - right now my nerves are raw and exhausted. And my thoughts go out to the neighborhoods in my town and the one I grew up in who weren't so lucky. We saw some of the devastation today, people just standing and staring at the rubble what was their lives. It's heartbreaking, no matter how grateful anyone is to be alive, it's still a horror.

Thanks to everyone who put me on their personal radar this week - the vibes were felt and much appreciated!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


I've added a new title to my name. Evacuee. I don't care for it.

As some of you may have heard on the national news there are terrible fires raging through California leaving a wake of destruction in their path we've never seen before. I know they aren't the only thing happening in our world but it's the worst thing currently taking place in mine.

We were evacuated from our home in Rancho Bernardo at 5:30 Monday morning while the hot, gale-force winds whipped debris, ash and smoke into our faces and minutes before the Witch fire touched down and did her evil bidding. This funny little town has never made the map before. We're a congregation of soccer stars and blue hairs with a few other demographics in between. I for one would have rather made the worlds largest burrito or something rather than this shit.

But today our lives have been turned inside out, upside down and changed forever. I do not know if my home is still standing or a pile of smoldering ruble like so many of my neighbors. Homes I know, drive past and admire have been burned to the ground. I know every single neighborhood in the Rancho Bernardo/Poway area that have been affected. It's been my home for 35 years. And despite my recent want to move, I still love it and always will.

It's a surreal experience to say the least. One moment numb then anxiety flooded the next. Sobering thoughts all the way to future plans of how to rebuild from scratch if we have to replace literally everything in our lives, except what we could fit in our cars on the way out. Your worldly possessions reduce to the size of a car trunk. The stories are already heart-breaking and devastating and I'm sure they'll only get worse. Until things hopefully get better.

My hearts go out to those who have nothing left. We've seen this horrible destruction before. 4 years ago almost to the fucking day, if you can believe it, although it wasn't as close to me as this time. This time it's my direct neighborhood.

Also - get out of my hood, Matt Lauer, and take your cockroaching fellow reporters with you. We're going through enough. If I see Katie Couric at my Taco Bell, hoping it's still there, I'm going to kick her ass. Just sayin'.

As of right now, as I'm writing this inside a Budget motel room on a make-shift set up 90 miles away from my home and all of my cherished possessions, my friends and psuedo families. Just trying to keep my non-stop terror in check and hoping I still have a home as do my loved ones. So, I just ask for a few good vibes to be sent San Diego's way. We sure could use it.

And if you could spare a couple of nickels help out the red cross that would be aces. They totally kick ass at helping out others and I know a lot of us our going to need them in the days, weeks and months to come. It would be much appreciated, I guarantee that.

San Diego Red Cross

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Thursday is the new Friday

I'm heading out on a jet plane tonight.

Destination: San Francisco.

It's the tail-end of my birthday month extravaganza stretched to the limit super mega celebration. There will be cocktail parties and musicals and shopping and photo taking and sight seeing and relaxing and laughing and eating and joking and and smiling and contended sighing.

However, there will be no gratuitous vacation screwing because...


Of course.

You kids have a great weekend and I'll see yooz on the other side of this one.

Monday, October 08, 2007


What is it about feather pillows that transforms them into slabs of fucking cement during the night? You lay your head down on the wings of angels, sent off to dreamland with baby soft kisses caressing your face and get jolted from your slumber when you realize you're now laying on a parking lot speed bump covered in 400 thread count sheets. WTF? and Jesus. I really need a new pillow. One that doesn't begin as a fantasy and end like a nightmare. That's what first marriages are for.


So if you hadn't noticed already by the new additions to the sidebar over yonder I'm once again participating in the writeeverydayforthemonthofNovember Nablopomo excercise? Project? Thingmajig? I wave a hearty hello to new readers. Welcome! My, you sure are pretty.

It was really fun last year, although not without some pressure added in for extra flavor. Ack. The stress I put on myself to entertain. How do people like Pamela Anderson Lee Lee Rock Solomon do it? Poor girl. The things you have to do to keep it fresh and an audience in their seats. I guess flashing vagina's and store-bought tits isn't that interesting anymore.

Digressed again...

What I'm saying is, it's a good way to stretch your brain. And if you've been feeling a little -ahem- constipated in the thinking department with a blockage in your corpus writereous, I highly recommend you join up and do eet. Even if you only have time for a big highlighted "FUCK" because you're having a bad day, it still counts. (But don't steal that idea, I'm sure I'll be using it.)

Since The Man has taken away almost all of my fun at my Corporate Drone job I'll be getting up early and staying up late to to post and read so don't be whining at me you don't have time. I'm cutting into crucial couch sitting time. So if I can muster up the strength so can you.

This year there's more of a network thing going and I really like having a separate page on the Nablopomo site. But most importantly it gets some new traffic to your blog and there are prizes! I promise you won't have to show anyone your Britney.

Unless of course you want to.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007


Not being able to read blogs, post, see my comments, or spend half my day trying to escape from the soul-sucking monotony and abundance of assholes I deal with on an hourly basis because work is afraid that if I fill my head with anything but policies and numbers and stupid bullshit busy-work uninteresting meaningless super crap the world as they know it will surely end.

I mean, GAWD FORBID I get 20 seconds of joy in between 8 hours of crap.

And it really sucks.

So, I hope your doggies are good, you're feeling fine, that guy still likes you, the baby is healthy, you acerbic wit is entertaining, that job isn't killing you, your new private page is working out, the move went well, they find out what's wrong, your blues are lifting, happy birthday, happy holiday, happy life, pretty pictures, sounds like a fun time, stay dry, stay warm, stay cool, stay sweet, bff 4 ev-r, I love you, I miss you, I mean it.

That should cover it.