Friday, November 16, 2007

Blast from the past

I came across this old gem earlier in the week and I must say, I smiled at myself for having such a deliciously sarcastic reply to some ass clown accusing me a couple of years ago of "always being mean." I detest absolutes and I abhor crybabies who stick their foot in their mouth then act surprised when I follow that with my boot in their box. Don't throw your opinion out there then run away like a pussy if you can't handle a debate and don't accuse me of shit I don't do or this is what you'll get from me.

Sorry, I'd stick around and help you figure it out, but I have to rush off to my Neo Nazi Skinheads and Knitting Circle meeting. If I'm lucky, I'll get to kick a couple puppies this afternoon. I've already scheduled to make several babies cry by pinching their fat arms after lunch.

Then tonight, I'm going to throw bread at an Atkins dieter and yell "100 grams 100 grams 100 grams" while sprinkling sugar over their head. After that, I think I'll log on to the internets and send some random e-mails to shut ins and tell them about the lovely sunny walk I took after dinner where I will shoot several birds with my hollow-point BB gun. There's a nest with some newly hatched morning doves and they're ripe for the pickin!

Then it's off to be randomly mean to people on a few message boards I belong to and bully my way into the Nellie Olson Hall of Fame. A girl has to have goals. Gotta go, these steal-toed boots aren't going to kick themselves. Tah.

Man, sometimes I really like me.


Newscoma said...

This is awesome.
I like you too....

BipolarLawyerCook said...

The Nellie Olson Hall of Fame. Perfect.