Sunday, November 11, 2007

At least there will be turkey

OK. I've accepted the fact that I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year and forgiven my mother for calling me on a Sunday afternoon literally 2 (fucking) minutes after I laid down for a nap. A nap that never happened because she insisted on torturing me with one of her famous loop conversations where she repeats herself 9 times in row about various things I just "need to do" then chuckles that she always calls me when I'm trying to sleep because I guess when I warned everyone on the planet not to fucking dial my number between 1 and 5 on the weekends my mother was somehow exempt.


I even called my brother and formally invited him to our holiday dinner (the thing my mother told me on Friday I needed to do) and the conversation went surprisingly well. He was actually slightly un-morose for a few minutes there. I'm hoping he maintains that attitude until at least New Year's and I'll make sure there is plenty of beer on hand to keep everyone nice and lubricated, so to speak.

Now I've decided to think about the food. Which can be tricky because my weight has become a family issue (such a long story) so I get self-conscious about everything that goes in my mouth when I'm around them. That's why I'm on the active hunt to find recipes loaded with alcohol and hopefully no one will notice I've created a mashed potato grand canyon to contain the Colorado river of gravy I plan to pour into it. Not forgetting the forest of butter, of course.

My mom has little faith that whitey and I can pull off an entire Thanksgiving dinner but I assured her we've done this a time or 50 and we have it covered. Which is code for stay the fuck out of the kitchen, woman, or be prepared for Kahlua infused green bean casserole and wine-laced biscuits. I'll throw her a bone to keep her idle devil hands busy. She can make a pie. 1 lovely Vodka meringue pie.

If you have any good recipes to share I'd love to see them. We usually cook a turkey and do taters from scratch but everything else comes out of a jar or box, which we cannot get away with this year. The Queen does not abide by packaged stuffing.

There is one thing I'm going to make that I usually don't because my boyfriend has a defective gene and doesn't care for sweet things. This is by far my all-time favorite holiday fare and a crowd pleaser to boot. I'm going to share with y'all because I'm nice like that. I promise you or your guests won't be disappointed. It's easy peasy and deeeeeelicious, served warm or cold. Best eaten with a fork straight from the pan.

Cranberry Casserole

3 cups unpeeled apples, chopped (I use red delicious)
2 cups raw cranberries
1 1/4 cups sugar

1 1/2 cups quick oats
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup flour
1/2 cup melted butter

Mix apples, cranberries and sugar. Put into baking dish. Sprinkle with topping. Bake at 350 degrees for 60 minutes.

I'll be enjoying mine with a nice big glass of chardonnay/Baileys/rum.


Avalon said...

Funny. I didn't see any alcohol IN the recipe itself.

As for me, just hand me a vat of mashed potatoes and some stove top stuffing. I'm all about the carbs.

Sugapie said...

Run don't walk to your nearest Borders, Barnes & Noble or whatever bookstore they have and pick up a copy of the November issue of Fine Cooking..awesome recipes this year that I will be doing. I will also email you my kick ass appetizer that will have people screaming about!

r. said...,1976,FOOD_9994_35591,00.html

All you'll need!

Lula said...

That cranberry casserole looks DELICIOUS!! Yum!

whitey said...

She better make that pie on the plane, 'cause she ain't gettin' in my kitchen on T-Day!