Yo, fuckwit! You are a depraved individual with the sense of an ass hair. You lame mutant. You're not worthy of being a sideshow attraction in a Mexican circus. How you've made it into adulthood and hold a paying job is a miracle that should be studied.
Would you be floating in the ocean as fodder for poor unsuspecting sea life, you would be passed over for gallons of raw sewage pumping into the waters, based solely on your steaming lack of smarts sensed by even the lowest life forms on earth.
You are the reason hair dryers and vacuum cleaners say "DO NOT USE IN SHOWER". This is not rocket science. You're not trying to perfect the friggen human jet-pack or clone the Pope, for the love of Pete!
Can you not muster the intelligence of a mole rat and follow simple instructions? You make garden slugs look like Nobel prize winners. Are you missing a chromosome? I'm embarrassed to be the same species as you. You are blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
Can you please close your gaping maw for one second and focus your vacuous stare to keep an eye on your property? Is it too much to ask that you take some responsibility for your own actions and not subject the rest of us to your unbelievable brainless behavior? It's not like this appliance hasn't been around for 30 fucking years. You are daft to infinity. As sharp as a marble.
May you someday, in deference to the rest of us that suffer for your idiocy, take a leap out of the primordial soup you splash around in and gather enough sense to put a coherent thought together, use those two weeping orbs in the front of your deformed, drooling face and read the simple few important words on the package and hopefully, by all that is good and holy in the universe, manage to:
NOT BURN YOUR MICROWAVE POPCORN FOR THE 40-HUNDREDTH TIME THUS RENDERING OUR ENTIRE BUILDING FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS INTO THE OLFACTORY EQUIVALENT OF A STINKING PILE OF ROASTED HAIR TOPPED WITH FLAMING DOGSHIT!!
You dick.
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