Saturday, July 30, 2005

Princess Crankypants takes a holiday

Today I'm leaving on one of these:


Fricking fargin tubes of death. Gack.

And I'm going here:


OK, so I won't be exactly there since that would require a disgusting hike down a very steep switch-back trail that's like 42 miles down and 195 miles up. And I don't think they provide medi-vac lifts via helicopter back to the top. Because this booty is not hauling herself by foot. Fuck. That.

But I am going to be in the general vicinity and hopefully will get to spend some quality time in the park, Yellowstone that is, seeing my beloved wildlife. Safely from the friggen car thankyouverymuch. I can't tell you how many tourons get smashed by animals every year up there. No, Mildred, you cannot run faster than a bison!

Most important of all, my primary goal is doing this.


Which could also involve never brushing my hair and wearing nothing but pajamas for 6 days. Ahhhh, the glory of crusty jammies. It's been another retarded week leaving me shaking my head at what people are capable of, and fighting with insurance companies over the 4 million dollars I owe and how they completely fucked me over by giving me bad info and now shit, I have to do it all over again in September christ what if I need radiation I'm going to be half dead and broke cry cry cry. So screw all that stupid noise, I'm on vacation!

I'll try to find the time between napping and napping to post an entry or two. I am visiting my folks you know, so I'll have plenty of material. And my crazy brother will be there too. Bonus! In the meantime, have fun, miss me, love you, mean it.

And a special farewell to whitey. I don't know how I'll sleep without your farting, snoring body next to mine. (That's what you get for the packing crack). I will miss you, baby, so much it hurts. Love you like crazy. When I get back I'd like a O! Have fun with the cats and don't let them watch any more porn. They're gettin' ideas...

See yooz guys later!!


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