Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Dear Employee; please burn in hell

Just received via Internal Corporate Slavery e-mail system:

This message is written to inform you of a planned Building G evacuation drill that will be taking place on the morning of Friday, June 10, 2005. The drill is currently expected to commence sometime between 8:00am - 11:30am. (rain cancels).

Wait. What? Rain cancels? Well isn't that just super!! The Southern California hysterics that lose their minds at the first sight of mist will bail on the disaster practice and I'll not know what to do in the event of an emergency!! Like, do I find the stairs and walk out? Or bang on a window, that doesn't open, hoping someone will cut a hole and save me? Or I know, I'll assume the position under my desk and wait for authorities to rush in and hoist me over their shoulders to safety!

When they pull my charred corpse from the remains of the building it will be all their fault. I Just. Couldn't. Figure. Out. What. To. Do.

Because, you know, it's not like I didn't learn how to do this...IN SECOND GRADE!!

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