Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Is this too much to ask?

I want someone to tell me that spending 6 hours with people you haven't seen in 20 years, most of whom you will never see again, is nothing to become so obsessed about that you actually lose sleep over agonizing that you did or said something wrong making these virtual strangers think, Jesus, she hasn't changed at all, when in fact you have changed a lot despite falling right back into old patterns of jokes underlined with threats that I will still fuck your shit up when in reality I just wanted to kiss every single person square on the mouth and tell them that all I wish is that they're happy but maybe it came out wrong and please forget that I became the fat one.

I would like someone to point out the fact that turning 40 is no big deal and the alternative is not turning 40 which means that you've been sprinkled over your favorite cliff by drunk and crying (you'd better be crying) friends so it's entirely stupid to fret over it and remember that you, in fact, are indeed not a total failure and do not possess a retarded "must be accomplished by" list folded and worn, deep in the back part of your wallet and it's not too late to start over in any manner of things you want to change and you're not stuck in a shitty career that's not a career anyway but a dumb job and you can move and you will alter your life for the better because you are not powerless over every single thing and age is just a stinking number even though you'll have to check a new age-range box on surveys but life is what you make it and there won't be a mob of angry villagers chasing you out of Sephora to confiscate your pink glitter lip gloss.

I need someone to distract me with something shiny.

Thank you.


'Coma said...

Yeah, 40 is fucked up.
Here's something shiny:

Avalon said...

You just screwed up my whole image of you....................

with the Sephora glitter lipstick

Anyway, 40's OK. 41, meh. I'm quickly barreling towards 42.

Maybe a trip to Sephora would make me feel better. I'll meet you in the old-ladies-wear-maudlin aisle.

Truly said...

OMG! How was the reunion? Did you have a good time? Did you get sloppy drunk?


Joan said...

So, it's something shiny you want, well I tried to take a picture of my ass, but I think I broke my camera arm trying to get the shot.

Yes life after 40 ain't no picnic; I'm over 50 so don't come crying to me! I've been up and down and over all the hills, and it's been a scary ride.

ryssee said...

Word. (do they still say that? Probably not.)
40 soon and still trying to get 29 yr old boys to buy me drinks. Even though I have a beau. Sad, really.
But you're right, better than being dust dumped off a cliff by your friends.