Sunday, April 30, 2006

My sweet girl

Well. It's official. She's blind.

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My little sweet girl Boo can't see a damn thing. Despite everyone's efforts. Despite all the vet visits and the money (over 2 1/2 K) and the drugs. Despite the promise this wouldn't happen. She went blind anyway. She wasn't cured. She'll never recover.

Some days it breaks my heart and makes me cry. Some days I'm overcome with guilt that maybe I didn't do everything I could have. Some days I feel so sorry for her it makes me ache.

She's so sweet and such a weird, funny kitty. The one who used to play fetch like a dog and act like she was a junkie and I was cutting her nice big fat line whenever she heard paper crunching. The one who'd steal my water bottle caps and flick them under the dresser. But she can't do those things anymore because she can't see.

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But most of the time I appreciate every single extra second I get to spend with my Boogaloo because the vet says we're in "support mode" and I need to keep her comfortable and as happy as possible and that's just what I'm going to do. I'm going to give her as much love and attention she'll let me give.

She gets around pretty darn good since her world went to black last month and we try not to move stuff around so she doesn't konk her cute pink nose too many times. She still purrs like a motor boat, which is odd since she didn't do that very much before she got sick last August, and she tolerates the moments I get mischievous and put something on her head and call it her lovely new hat.

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I feed her as many treats as she wants and lift her onto the sink to drink out of the tap. I don't mind (so much) when she crawls on top of me and just has to sleep somewhere on my person starting at 5:00 a.m. every morning. I'm even letting her slink around outside on the patio since that's her new obsession. And I respect her when she just can't take one more squeeze from her mama and gives me her annoyed meow that says "jesus h, get off of me already".

I'm convinced that the universe sends me special animals. I've never sought out any pet I've ever had, they've somehow fallen into my life and taught me so much, shown me so much love, and been pretty high fricken maintenance. But the universe knows I'll take care of the ones other people wouldn't and I'm grateful every damn time.

So, even though my heart will eventually suffer, I'll make sure my Boo Kitty won't.


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