Most awesomely awesome thing I did that is also gross

Scene: Bedroom. Also known as The Den of Love and Cat Fur Repository.

Time: 10:51 p.m.

Players: One very, very tired human and one eating-disordered kitty.

Key element: Eating-disorded kitty has just consumed kibble for the 95th time today filling her bloated body to the brim and has once again settled on the very, very tired human's very, very special blankie.

Eating Disorded Kitty: hork hork hork

Very, Very Tired Human: "OH SHIT!!"

EDK: hork

VVTH: (bolts out of computer chair with super VVTH speed and grabs EDK, spins on a fucking dime and plunges EDK's head into nearby trashcan).

EDK: hork hork HOOOORRRRRRRRRK (all contents are deposited into trashcan like this was a well-rehersed ballet).

VVTH: WOO HOO!! HA HA!! FUCK YA!! (runs through house doing Rocky fist pump in air, tells boyfriend awesomely yet gross happening in bedroom, both laugh with glee).

EDK: (wobbles out of bedroom with glazed look in eyes).

VVTH: FUCK YA!! I'M AWESOME!! HA! (secretly hopes this never happens again).

And scene.