Friday, July 18, 2008

Travesty

Your regularly scheduled weekly post will be interrupted by breaking news in the life of this here blogger who has suffered a mighty blow. A horror so devastating I'm sure you will all feel my pain, imagine my FURY, wipe my virtual tears, and assist in the teeny tiny 5 minute curse I'll be putting on my beloved, whom I love so so much, but deserves a least a twisted ass hair for his trouble over this monumental FUCK UP.

A fuck up that follows on the heals of leaving my car out all night with the door wide open and the keys in the ignition, cleaning the coffee table with caustic sink scrub thus effectively dissolving the veneer right off the mother, and vigorously scrubbing a kitty barf spot in the freshly-day-before-professionally-cleaned carpet with a brand new BLACK kitchen towel requiring an emergency and double the amount re-visit from said professional carpet cleaners to try and fix it.

I love this man more than anything but BLOODY HELL does he screw up sometimes.

In our attempt to clean the house for a showing (please, real estate gods, bless us with an offer - there might be brand new appliances in it for ya!) my boyfriend stashed some dirty dishes in the oven. But then he FORGOT about the dirty dishes in the oven and TURNED IT ON last night to cook himself some GAWD DAMN chicken strips.

Here is the result of plastic containers in 400 degrees of heat. Needless to say the theme for the evening was FUCKING. HELL. WHAT. ARE. WE. GOING. TO. DO. Seriously. What are we going to do? It all hardened again and the whole house smells like someone bar-b-cued a stack of tires covered in lead paint sprinkled with styrofoam peanuts.

Behold. Teh Tragedy.

The offending plastic:
crap

The results:

sniff
wahhhhhh

sob
crapping hell shit damn

waaahhhhh
crapping hell

15 comments:

liz aka hobbledehoy said...

oh no!

Jamie Ferraioli said...

That's terrible! And SO something my boyfriend would do. Wow, I wouldn't even know how to begin to clean that up...a chisel?

AnnWebb said...

call it art? so sorry - have had simliar things happen on my watch as well.

chin up ole' girl - you'll make it!

Right As Rain Creations said...

Aaaaack! I'd be cussing up a royal storm!

We had a plastic container fall underneath the tray of our dishwasher and melt everywhere. I know the stink and I feel your pain.

The plastic chips off once hardened *fairly* easily. Then run to the grocery store and buy some citrus natural air spray. There is one that uses real orange I think, and it works pretty well.

littlescotia said...

eeeewwww. I can only imagine the smell.

Chris & Samantha said...

Yikes.. I bet that smell was TERRIBLE. Hope you can get the house aired out decently at least.

Shannon said...

Been there - done that - icky. Sorry you have to go through this.

Erin said...

That's horrible :( Hopefully you found a way to clean it up. Best wishes with the house!

Truly said...

Curse you, Whitey!

jenstitches said...

I ... would ... be ... so ... PISSED!

Ugh.

(it's kinda pretty though, in an artsy way I guess)

Avalon said...

Ohhhhhhh Whitey! Hopefully you are still alive to read this.

Betty, is that a shovel in your hand?????

Curvy girl said...

OMFG!!! You just made me grateful I'm single. And you jsut successfully summed up the conundrum of coupledum. As women we want men to help out, but get pissed off cause they never do it "right" and then we have to go back and clean up the mess. Bless your heart. He better buy you something really good.

Evil Genius said...

Oh honey, a twisted ass hair is not nearly enough for all of the trials and tribulation...perhaps twisted ass hair along with some purple nerples.

And a lot of cussing. Yeah. Lots of that.

Anonymous said...

It kind of looks like you cooked a frog in there...


~Jess

Scott Bulger Photography said...

Sorry, but I can't help but laugh. Better him than me.