Another One of My Very Good Ideas (patent pending)

I think all cars should come with a choice of horn honks. No, not the kind like the AAAOOOOOGAH crap that old men with handle bar mustaches dyed black as shoe polish put in their souped up "jalopies" that they drive in the Fourth of July parade while they toss the cheap Brach's candy at kids with painted faces and secretly ogle teenage girls boobs. I'm talking about a noticeable difference in pitch and tone and sound that will convey a clear and definite message to the asshole, I mean, driver you wish to communicate with.

Something like a friendly little beep beep that emits the auditory equivalent of Snow White singing her gentle song to the sparrows in the forest while smiling down on Bambi who's lovingly licking the forehead of Thumper and yes I know I'm cross-pollinating Disney epics here but stick with me. A sweet wee announcement made without causing anyone's heart to stop, anger to flare or handgun to be retrieved from the glove compartment to make the person in front of you aware that:

beep beep. The (fucking) light turned green like beep 10 seconds ago could you please (fucking) beep go now? Thanks!

And then there's also the need for a medium-level honk when you have to get a little more forceful in a situation that calls for something akin to asserting your rights without getting into a knock-down-drag-out like when stop for gas and go buy some water or whatever and the freak behind the counter keeps trying to talk you into a cookie and you don't want a cookie because you have raging fucking PMS and the current craving of the moment is for salt so you have to get a little forceful and raise your voice a little bit while still smiling so he'll fucking shut up about it and ring up your mini can of cheese pringles before you shove them up his grimy ass.

Hoooonk, hey buddy, you're gettin' a little close there hooonk get back over in your fucking hoooonk lane don't make me hoooonk come over there. Thanks!

And clearly we need a signal bigger and badder than regular cars have now for those times when a grievous injustice has been served upon you and the gloves are off baby I'll take you down, down to China town like when your less than three-year-old gas water heater inexplicably dies on a Friday night and the bitch who's so fucking lucky is not within reaching distance that you get on the phone to ask about the warranty keeps telling you that it's your responsibility to take the damn thing apart and check for dust bunnies before she'll give you the info when there's no way you're ever touching a gas appliance and she is so fucking snotty that you finally scream EAT SHIT into the phone and hang up.

BLAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP HOLY CHRIST DAMN YOU FOR TURNING RIGHT FUCKING IN FRONT OF ME WHEN I HAD THE BLAAAAAAAAPPPPP GREEN FUCKING LIGHT AND PROCEEDING TO GO BLAAAAAAAAPPPPP 10 MILES A FUCKING HOUR YOU ALMOST KILLED ME YOU BLAAAAAAAAPPPPP FUCKING MOUTH BREATHING MORON YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR BLAAAAAAAAPPPPP GENITALS REMOVED AND GROUND INTO A FINE POWDER TO ENSURE YOU'LL NEVER BLAAAAAAAPPPPP BREED AGAIN YOU WALKING TALKING SHIT STAIN. THANKS!!

Anyone have Honda's phone number? I think this could work.